As most of you know, last summer D and I quit our jobs and moved from Chicago to Pittsburgh. He left his career as a Nuclear Engineer to go back to school for his PhD in Physics. I left my unfulfilling job/bad boss at a great organization to go with him because really, I couldn’t imagine my life, or Chicago, without him. I had to go.
We didn’t make the decision lightly though, and knew that our life would change a lot because of it. For one thing, graduate students don’t make quite as much money as Nuclear Engineers and we didn’t know how quickly I would be able to find a job. I tried to have a plan on paper but in my head our finances just looked like a big question mark to me. Also, we were moving to a new city, one I’d never even been to before I agreed to move there, sight unseen. I still shake my head at that decision. So yes, you could say our lives have changed a little bit from a year ago, when we were living in a wonderful neighborhood in a city we both loved, working full time, and had little other obligations to attend to. But, as we were talking about the other night, things haven’t changed quite as much as I might have thought.
We didn’t make the decision lightly though, and knew that our life would change a lot because of it. For one thing, graduate students don’t make quite as much money as Nuclear Engineers and we didn’t know how quickly I would be able to find a job. I tried to have a plan on paper but in my head our finances just looked like a big question mark to me. Also, we were moving to a new city, one I’d never even been to before I agreed to move there, sight unseen. I still shake my head at that decision. So yes, you could say our lives have changed a little bit from a year ago, when we were living in a wonderful neighborhood in a city we both loved, working full time, and had little other obligations to attend to. But, as we were talking about the other night, things haven’t changed quite as much as I might have thought.
Ways in Which Things Have Changed:
-D has virtually no free time. He’s always working on school work, studying, or in the lab doing research. Even though he’s pretty good about treating school like a 9-5 and coming home to make dinner with me every night, there are still tough weeks where he’s on campus until late and I have to fend for myself in the evenings. When we were both working in Chicago, I knew pretty much every night what time each of us would get home from work.
-Our lives are a lot more tied to the school calendar. In Chicago, my job was somewhat tied to the school year in that I got a longer vacation over Christmas and things slowed down a bit during the summer. Other than that, it didn’t really matter to us when school started or ended. Now that D is in school (and taking classes, which won’t be the case for all of his time as a PhD student), our lives completely revolve around the academic calendar. Christmas break, spring break, and summer are all magic words. Tests are noted on both our calendars. We’re really looking forward to May 16, the last day of finals.
-D has a lot more friends than I do. The great thing about starting a program where everyone is your age and has your same talents and interests is that you have a built in group of friends. This is probably what I miss most about college, and D has definitely found it in his cohort. The guys that he’s met are great, and they all seem to be really good friends. I...don’t know that many people. The workforce isn’t quite the same as grad school--most people are older than me, and at different points in their lives than I am (mortgages, kids, etc). None of them have a partner in school. It sometimes feels like we don’t have much in common. In Chicago I knew a lot of people--some from my grad program, some from work, some from other random places. His friends here (all guys) are great, but we don’t have that much in common. I’m trying to branch out and make new friends, but it sure is hard starting over.
-D has virtually no free time. He’s always working on school work, studying, or in the lab doing research. Even though he’s pretty good about treating school like a 9-5 and coming home to make dinner with me every night, there are still tough weeks where he’s on campus until late and I have to fend for myself in the evenings. When we were both working in Chicago, I knew pretty much every night what time each of us would get home from work.
-Our lives are a lot more tied to the school calendar. In Chicago, my job was somewhat tied to the school year in that I got a longer vacation over Christmas and things slowed down a bit during the summer. Other than that, it didn’t really matter to us when school started or ended. Now that D is in school (and taking classes, which won’t be the case for all of his time as a PhD student), our lives completely revolve around the academic calendar. Christmas break, spring break, and summer are all magic words. Tests are noted on both our calendars. We’re really looking forward to May 16, the last day of finals.
-D has a lot more friends than I do. The great thing about starting a program where everyone is your age and has your same talents and interests is that you have a built in group of friends. This is probably what I miss most about college, and D has definitely found it in his cohort. The guys that he’s met are great, and they all seem to be really good friends. I...don’t know that many people. The workforce isn’t quite the same as grad school--most people are older than me, and at different points in their lives than I am (mortgages, kids, etc). None of them have a partner in school. It sometimes feels like we don’t have much in common. In Chicago I knew a lot of people--some from my grad program, some from work, some from other random places. His friends here (all guys) are great, but we don’t have that much in common. I’m trying to branch out and make new friends, but it sure is hard starting over.
Ways in Which Things Actually Haven’t Changed All That Much:
-Money, honey. To be honest, I thought us quitting our perfectly fine jobs and moving to a new city would mean that we’d end up on welfare or homeless. I was really, really worried about this. A (hopefully) well-meaning person kept asking me “what we were going to do about money” and “how we would survive without D’s salary” and I very nearly clobbered her. We have different views on money as it is, and it really didn’t help that she kept reminding me we were leaving a sure thing for the great unknown. Turns out I had a job nailed down before we even moved (luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me). D gets paid a stipend (like a salary) to be in school, which is awesome, in my opinion, and by having a roommate (me) his living expenses are very affordable. It helps that we moved to a much cheaper city (our rent is almost half what it was in Chicago). When we were both working, we each saved a big portion of our salaries, which meant we were only living on a portion of what we were making. I have a full time job in Pittsburgh just like I did in Chicago, so my finances are virtually the same. D doesn’t save quite as much and doesn’t have an employer-matched retirement fund, but other than that, he doesn't feel much has changed for him. We still go out to eat, buy organic food and products, go on trips, etc.
-Our lifestyle. I think what my friend was getting at was that she thought our lifestyle was going to have to change dramatically now that we wouldn’t have quite as much disposable income. In reality, we were very frugal even in Chicago, and took advantage of free and low cost entertainment as often as possible. Now that we’re in Pittsburgh, we still do that, with the bonus of a student ID to ride the buses and get into museums for free. There’s also often fun stuff going on through his program or on campus, and we take advantage of those options as well. It doesn’t feel like we’re suddenly poor graduate students because we’ve always lived like poor graduate students, so we don’t know any other way. And you know what? I like it.
-Taking it to the streets. We still rarely use our one car, in that we drive once a week or so to go to the grocery store and not much else (especially since gas is so expensive these days). D takes the bus or rides his bike to campus, and I walk or ride the bus to work. We live in a very walkable part of town, and don’t have to jump in the car if we want to go out to eat or to the movies. D had an hour commute each way when we lived in Chicago, so he would probably view this as a change for the better, but I took the train to work and never drove, so I don't notice much difference. I like that we were able to maintain this part of our life by choosing our neighborhood over other, less expensive and less walkable ones. Public transportation here isn’t even close to as good as it was in Chicago, but we’re trying to make it work.
-Money, honey. To be honest, I thought us quitting our perfectly fine jobs and moving to a new city would mean that we’d end up on welfare or homeless. I was really, really worried about this. A (hopefully) well-meaning person kept asking me “what we were going to do about money” and “how we would survive without D’s salary” and I very nearly clobbered her. We have different views on money as it is, and it really didn’t help that she kept reminding me we were leaving a sure thing for the great unknown. Turns out I had a job nailed down before we even moved (luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me). D gets paid a stipend (like a salary) to be in school, which is awesome, in my opinion, and by having a roommate (me) his living expenses are very affordable. It helps that we moved to a much cheaper city (our rent is almost half what it was in Chicago). When we were both working, we each saved a big portion of our salaries, which meant we were only living on a portion of what we were making. I have a full time job in Pittsburgh just like I did in Chicago, so my finances are virtually the same. D doesn’t save quite as much and doesn’t have an employer-matched retirement fund, but other than that, he doesn't feel much has changed for him. We still go out to eat, buy organic food and products, go on trips, etc.
-Our lifestyle. I think what my friend was getting at was that she thought our lifestyle was going to have to change dramatically now that we wouldn’t have quite as much disposable income. In reality, we were very frugal even in Chicago, and took advantage of free and low cost entertainment as often as possible. Now that we’re in Pittsburgh, we still do that, with the bonus of a student ID to ride the buses and get into museums for free. There’s also often fun stuff going on through his program or on campus, and we take advantage of those options as well. It doesn’t feel like we’re suddenly poor graduate students because we’ve always lived like poor graduate students, so we don’t know any other way. And you know what? I like it.
-Taking it to the streets. We still rarely use our one car, in that we drive once a week or so to go to the grocery store and not much else (especially since gas is so expensive these days). D takes the bus or rides his bike to campus, and I walk or ride the bus to work. We live in a very walkable part of town, and don’t have to jump in the car if we want to go out to eat or to the movies. D had an hour commute each way when we lived in Chicago, so he would probably view this as a change for the better, but I took the train to work and never drove, so I don't notice much difference. I like that we were able to maintain this part of our life by choosing our neighborhood over other, less expensive and less walkable ones. Public transportation here isn’t even close to as good as it was in Chicago, but we’re trying to make it work.
