Wednesday, November 03, 2010

May Be Losing My Mind

Most of my day this past Saturday was dedicated to running errands. I had a list a mile long, and some of the items had been on there for months. One of the things that I wanted to do was stop by a few places to look at boots. I hit up Filene’s Basement and found the perfect pair of leather riding boots. Unfortunately, they were very expensive (to me, anything over about $20 for shoes is very expensive). So I left them there and pushed on. I went to TJ Maxx, nothing. I went to Loehmann’s, nothing. I thought I would try Nordstrom Rack as a last resort, because they have a HUGE selection. The shoe department is “arranged” (I use that term loosely) like this: they have racks and racks of shoes, stacked 6 feet high, full of only the right shoe of every pair. There is no rhyme or reason to the shoes, they are just shoved on the racks, sometimes 2-3 pairs on top of one another. You really have to dig around. However, you can sometimes find really good deals. Once you find a right shoe that you like, you have to go stand in line at a little counter to get the left shoe in order to try the complete pair on. This is great for Nordstrom Rack because then you are less apt to steal a pair of shoes, and great for me because I have to decide if I like a pair of shoes enough to stand in line to get the left mate.

So I took off my right shoe, absentmindedly dropped it on the floor next to my foot, and then started pulling shoes off the rack to try on. And then I moved a little further down the aisle, thinking that surely no one was going to steal my one shoe. I took a phone call as I tried on shoes, and then when I got off the phone and turned around...my shoe was gone. My right shoe, my little brown Puma with the Dr. Scholl’s gel arch insert, was GONE. I quickly looked around the aisle, by the bench at the end of the aisle, down the next aisle. There was not a single shoe on the floor. I started looking in the racks, and was almost instantly visually overwhelmed. There were just So. Many. Shoes. I looked and looked, and started to get a little frantic. Did someone steal my one shoe? Did they like it (they’re pretty new) and take it up to the counter to find the left mate? I hobbled through the store with one shoe until I found an employee. She didn’t speak much English, but volunteered to help me look. I think she thought that I was wanting to buy the shoes, and that I needed the mate. I checked at the shoe counter; no one had tried to get the left mate.

I was starting to get frantic. Someone had either inadvertently or purposefully stolen my right shoe. On my left foot I was wearing a brown Puma sneaker. On my right foot I had only a sock. I pictured myself hopping outside, hailing a cab on one foot, and having to make my way all the way home with only one shoe on. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This was ridiculous! I was wandering around Nordstrom Rack with one shoe on, trailed by a confused eastern European sales associate who didn’t quite understand what the problem was. Something needed to be done.

I enlisted the help of everyone in the size six shoe row, and had about four different people all looking for my shoe. Finally some lady from the size eight row wandered over and said, “Is this your shoe? It was on the shelf but it has an arch insert in it so I don’t think it’s for sale.” I could have cried I was so relieved. Who knows what it was doing in the size eight row, since it was a six, but it was probably just shoved there by a passing employee who was trying to keep the aisles clean. I thanked the woman profusely, put my shoe on, and got out of there. I was done shoe shopping for a while. All I can say is thank goodness I had that dorky arch insert in my shoe. Otherwise we might never have found it.

Edited to add: I don't want to talk about the elections. I don't even want to THINK about the elections. Just, ugh.